*The first 3/4 of this post is what you’d expect from a travel blog. The remainder is a diatribe about what it means to be “family friendly.” Trigger warning: may offend Trump supporters.
At the tip of New Jersey, south of genteel Stone Harbor and north of classy Cape May, lies Wildwood – the overstuffed, deep-fried, pepper-and-onion-slathered filling between two slices of Wonder bread.
As anyone who follows this blog knows – and there at least six or seven of you – I’m a regular traveler to Europe and recently have visited Africa, Antarctica, and Asia. So why the Jersey Shore?
Well, Wildwood is to my wife’s family as Kennebunkport is to the Bushes and Hyannisport to the Kennedys. She started going as a little kid, we brought our children there for years, and this weekend we visited with our nearly 8-month-old grandchild. L’dor v’dor (from generation to generation), as my people say.
With this background, you’d expect Wildwood to be a great family destination, and it is indeed a fun place to visit, with one big “but” (and many big butts, I cannot lie – hardly surprising given the cuisine). I’ll get to my serious reservation at the end of this post; first, some background, positives, and recommendations.
Wildwood – it’s actually three municipalities sharing a barrier island (from south to north, Wildwood Crest, Wildwood, and North Wildwood) – seems lost in time, which is appropriate given that stores on the boardwalk were selling sweatshirts with two different dates for its founding, 1895 and 1912.
The prevailing vibe is ‘50s America. Wildwood bills itself as the living repository of Doo Wop music, and the first episode of American Bandstand was broadcast from the town’s Starlight Ballroom in 1957.
The trek to the ocean
Wildwood’s attractions are considerable. For starters, its beach is terrific – clean and wide (it takes at least 5 minutes to get from the boardwalk to the ocean), with soft sand and a smooth ocean bottom. Remarkably, beach access remains absolutely free! There’s even a dog park on the sand, and dogs are permitted on the beach itself and in the water along one demarcated stretch.
Bordering the beach for two-and-a-half miles, Wildwood’s boardwalk includes three piers with rides and two water parks, although only one pier was open this late in the season.
Lining the boardwalk are stores selling tees, shorts, and sweatshirts (much more on this below); purveyors of deep-fried delectables; several Dairy Queens, Kohr Brothers, and fudge shops (our favorite is Laura’s Fudge, a half-block off the boardwalk at 357 E. Wildwood Ave.); and … 25 places where one can buy a slice of pizza.
Yes, that’s an average of one every 500 feet or so. (A couple of people my son knows have done annual taste rankings of all the pizza places on the Wildwood boardwalk, an undertaking that would require me to lay in a lifetime’s supply of Gaviscon.)
Over the years we’ve found some healthy eating options in town and one on the boardwalk. The one on the boardwalk is Stewy’s Juice Bar and Bistro, located behind the Ocean Towers at the southern end. In town, we like Bandana’s (5607 Atlantic Ave. in Wildwood Crest) for reasonably healthy (if you’re so inclined) Mexican food and the Alumni Grill (3316 Pacific Ave.) for salads/wraps/burgers/sandwiches.
There are two options for staying in the Wildwood area: ‘50s style motels with plastic palm trees, or renting a condo through Vrbo or AirBnB. We took the latter route, finding a nice 4-bedroom apartment near the border of Wildwood and North Wildwood. (Fortuitously and expensively, our condo turned out to be a short walk from a great used bookstore, Hooked on Books, 3405 Pacific Ave.)
Most of the condos in town are in new rowhouses, though there are also a couple of older high-rise buildings (Ocean Towers) at the southern end of the boardwalk. The only nationwide hotel/motel chain present is a Days Inn.
Once the high season is over, Wildwood is known for a couple of mass gatherings: Roar to the Shore (a huge motorcycle rally) in early September and the New Jersey State Firemen’s Convention a bit later. We were in Wildwood during the Convention, so the town was awash in tattoos, huge black SUVs, gleaming fire trucks, and more than a few heroes. The official use of “Firemen’s” instead of “Firefighters” is both regrettable and regrettably accurate; I’d guess 95 percent of the attendees were male. (At least 99 percent were white. Clearly, hiring practices need to be re-examined.)
Having segued to the political part of this post, let me explain why I disagree with the claim (on the local tourism agency’s web site) that Wildwood is “one of the best destinations for family vacations.”
Many stores on the boardwalk, obeying the capitalist imperative, sell tees and sweats emblazoned with hyper-macho jingoistic right-wing bullshit, to use the technical term. The slogans and pictures on the clothing spew hate and glorify violence, ignorance, and intolerance.
Until Trump announced his campaign for President, the most common tee-shirt designs on the boardwalk – since time immemorial – were “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Fords” and “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Chevys.” Since then, the slogans have turned increasingly vitriolic.
I wish stores wouldn’t sell this stuff, but if that’s what the market wants then that’s what sellers have the right to provide. Probably: some of the apparel comes close to inciting violence and thus may not enjoy
First Amendment protection.
I’d be willing to bet that the people who wear a shirt that says “Fuck Your Pronouns” or boasts a picture of Trump holding up both middle fingers (“One for Joe, One for Kamala”) are the same people who demand that books with LGBTQ+ characters or references to racism or slavery be banned in order to protect their children!
So Wildwood, don’t claim your town is “family friendly.” It’s not, not in my book.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled travel blog. I’ll leave you with one of Wildwood’s most beautiful attractions: the sunset. If you’re ever there, head to the bay side of town before sunset and prepare to be stunned.
I’ll post again in mid-November, after I return from a week in Cuba. Stay well!
PuffinlessTravel 